Some Days Are Not What They’re Supposed to Be

Updated: Feb 18

Today was supposed to be amazing!

Today was supposed to be what D’s been looking forward to for far too long! (Even though he always tells us how annoying his sisters are, haha!)

Today was supposed to be a long awaited sibling visit after over a YEAR of not seeing each other in person.Today was not any of these things.

The plan for today – Brandon took D to school like normal and I took RA to school.  After dropping the little one off I drove to D’s school for field day!  It was a gorgeous morning, absolutely perfect weather for a morning outside.  A couple weeks ago, when we learned that D’s sibling visit was going to be today, we worried he would miss field day – a long awaited end of the year celebration, or he would miss his sibling visit – a well overdue gathering of D with his brother and 2 sisters.  We were going to let him pick, BUT when we found out the time and location of the visit, I was set to do the carpool for him and it was going to all work out!

Sitting on the sidelines, watching my sweet boy kick a triple in kickball, I get a phone call from his caseworker.  Honestly I still don’t understand, but apparently there was a mix up in the transport request and it had the visit for July 1st instead of June 1st.  I didn’t know what to say.  I was mad.  I was sad.  I was frustrated that this isn’t something that could be fixed in time for them to see one another.  I was heartbroken that we’ve been talking to D and looking forward to this with him for so long.  I was angered that a transport request is even necessary because these siblings are spread to all corners of this state.  I was just so upset!

As soon as I got off the phone, I called Brandon.  I can see his office from where field day is taking place.  “Let me know when y’all are done, I’ll come tell him with you after field day.”  I was so thankful not to have to tell D by myself.

Today was supposed to be awesome!  Today D was supposed to see his brother and his two sisters after having an amazing morning at field day with his friends.  As the morning went on, watching him with his two best buds, my heart would go from pure joy to feeling like I was going to cry.  For as normal as he looks out there to anyone else watching, he’s not been dealt a fair hand.  So many children haven’t.  At 12 you shouldn’t have to be thinking about seeing your siblings after over a year.  You should be thinking about how annoying it is that your sister called shotgun for the third time in a row and always seems to beat you there.  You should be thinking about how it’s so annoying you got blamed for the socks on the floor when they were really your brothers or how your little sister keeps getting on your nerves but you can’t do anything because you’re supposed to be older and know better.

That’s what it should be like.

After field day, I let D pick where we went to lunch.  Chick-fil-a was his choice, I didn’t complain.  Then we took the long way home and got some ice cream.  It was fun to sit on the bench and hang out, just the two of us.  You can tell it all bothers him, but he’s really good at hiding it all.  At 12 you shouldn’t be that good at hiding it.  In my opinion, he’s had too much practice hiding disappointment like this.

What an honor it is to sit on the sidelines and cheer for his team during tug-of-war and equally as special to get to sit next to him when we don’t feel like cheering at all.

#fostercare #scfostercare

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